I have low self-esteem yet i think i'm conceited?

so i have low-self esteem in the sense i have been struggling with anorexia for many years and i often don't feel skinny or pretty enough, but sometimes i find myself thinking i'm better than other people because i am more connected to my self and feelings. sometimes i even find myself thinking i'm really pretty. I DON'T WANT TO BE CONCEITED BUT I DON'T WANT LOW SELF ESTEEM EITHER. how the hell do i have both?